


Joyeux Noël.

by trickpie (dinnafashnow)



Category: The Mighty Boosh RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-13
Updated: 2007-12-13
Packaged: 2018-02-27 10:40:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2689793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinnafashnow/pseuds/trickpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the booshslashhaven Mistletoe challenge. Noel and Julian have a stroll, do some counting, butt heads a bit and then get over it (for now). <i>Party</i> has aired some time in the last few days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Joyeux Noël.

 

“D’you know what it is, though…”

Ice swirled around in the bottom of the glass tumbler, melting into liquid and watering down the last mouthful of drink left. Noel’s sentence was left unfinished even after he drained the glass. Julian waited. And waited. It usually paid to wait when it came to Noel. Something left unfinished would often mean that the other man wouldn’t take in anything said to him. Not until he was done. Noel’s tangents were impenetrable. This time he seemed to be caught in an ice cube’s gaze. Julian decided to give it a shot, anyway.

“What what is.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t know what it is. Were you planning on telling me?”

“What _what_ is?”

“Yes.”

“Stop talking, Ju. People are going to think you’re mad.”

Noel got to his feet, pushing his glass further back on the bar and nudged his chair aside with one foot, already throwing Julian impatient glances. Julian took his time in getting up, primarily to annoy the smaller man. He removed his jacket from the back of his chair and pulled it on slowly. Noel hadn’t bothered to take his off – he rarely did, unless he seemed to be succumbing to the heat. Jackets weren’t a tool of comfort and warmth for Noel. They were just another tool of fashion, used to make him look good. The latest favourite was something big and fluffy that Julian found hard to look at directly. He worried about something peering back out at him.

“You can’t spend your whole life avoiding my coat, Ju.”

“You’ll tire of it soon enough, and then I won’t have to worry.”

“Prob’ly right.”

The two men headed out of the bar. As they passed under the doorway, Noel glanced up and murmured, “Eleven.” Julian replied with a curt nod and pushed him forwards, out into the cold air. They started off down the street, happy to just enjoy the evening thanks to the collection of drinks under their belts. It wasn’t worth calling a cab just yet. Not when there was strolling to be had.

“I was talking of Christmas,” Noel grasped with two hands at Julian’s arm, just above the elbow, leaning against him for a moment as they walked. Julian watched the cloud of a warm breath slip from Noel’s lips out into the air.

“You were.”

“I was? Yes. For good reason.”

“What good is reason to you?”

“No, no, bear with me. We’ll see it.”

Noel tripped up in his heeled boots, leaning further into Julian and blurting out a guffaw before regaining his footing. He pulled off his sunglasses and Julian watched them disappear into the depths of the fluff.

“Can’t see it… where is one… OH. There. Look.”

Noel’s hand flailed in front of Julian’s face, finger pointing towards a shop window that was bedecked in Christmas decorations. ' _Joyeux Noël_ ' was emblazoned in a mass of tiny twinkling lights. Noel dragged Julian up to the window and traced the second word with the tip of a finger.

“Joyeux Noël.”

“Joyous Noel. Me, everywhere. It’s brilliant. You can’t escape it. It’s like free advertising and I don’t have to bat an eyelash. Makes me feel all tingly.”

Julian took in the entirety of the window decorations, glancing up and nodding. “Twelve.” Noel winked in response, letting Julian drag him by the coat to get moving again.

“As if I don’t see your name around enough as is, you berk.”

“As if I’m even a berk! ‘s not for you, anyway. It’s for the world. Joyous Noel for the world. Thirteen.”

“Unlucky.”

“You’re not superstitious. Doesn’t matter anyway, there’s another.”

“Close call.”

The taxi was easy to flag down. Noel’s skinny legs and heeled boots were always handy for an innocent act of deceit. Julian liked to take the seat directly behind the driver, letting Noel slip in next to him and watching the driver in the rear vision mirror for the moment when they’d realise their error in judgement. Noel was usually oblivious to the moment but it was almost always Julian’s favourite part of the trip. The reaction came along fairly quickly this time. Noel played his oblivious card, twirling a strand of hair around a finger and giving the driver a slurred “a’right” before gazing out the window. Julian held his breath – and there it was. The eyebrows had shot up – what would have done it? Probably Noel’s offhand greeting, that deep voice coming from that fit of shiny hair. These poor, old-fashioned gents who still maintained that only the girls should have the curls, the boys short and neat – Julian couldn’t remember a time that Noel had fit that mould.

“The confuser,” he mumbled to himself with a smirk. Noel caught his words and grinned in response, reaching his arm out and resting light fingers against Julian’s thigh. Julian continued to look straight ahead, crossing his arms over his chest and shaking his head just slightly. Noel’s hand remained in place. Julian watched the footpaths, the shops, the decorations.

“Fifteen.”

Noel raised his hand and smacked it down loudly on Julian’s leg. “Doesn’t count if you just saw it, have to pass under it. It’s under that counts.”

“Fine, fourteen still.”

“Oh, the tree…” Noel leaned across Julian to peer out the older man’s window, watching a brightly lit Christmas tree fly past the cab. “Joyous Noel, that’s what that is.”

“Should dress you up in tinsel.”

“Go on, you make it sound like I haven’t done that before.”

Noel took his time easing himself back over to his seat as Julian sat still as a statue. It was years ago that he’d realised that nothing Noel could say would surprise him any more. There would have to only be a small number of people in the world who would agree with him, though.

 

“You like the decorations?”

The cab driver’s wispy voice floated back to them. It was only a moment after that Julian realised the cab itself was decked out with Christmas trinketry. Tinsel lined the doorways, baubles hung in a clump from the rear vision mirror. On the dashboard sat a Santa in his sleigh, pulled by eight reindeer. In the corners of the windows were tiny stickers of stars and snowflakes. Julian glanced over at Noel, who was already watching him. It seemed like he’d been waiting to catch Julian’s eye. Noel’s eyes tracked up to the cab’s ceiling, Julian’s gaze followed. A piece of mistletoe was stuck to the cab’s interior light.

“Hah. Fifteen.”

“Yeah, a’right. That one counts.”

The cab pulled in, the two men poured out.

“Merry Christmas,” Julian offered absently as he handed over the fare.

“Yeah, Joyeux Noël. Hugs and kisses from Joyous Noel. Have a lovely life. Christ, it’s chilly out. You’d better have some tea, Ju, I want tea.”

“Just how pissed _are_ you?”

“Oh… this is _my_ place, right. I’d better have some tea, Ju, I want tea. Shit, I think I’m out of milk.”

Julian had already unlocked the front door and started up the stairs. He heard Noel coming in behind him, heels scuffing against the floor, too lazy to pick his feet up. Banging around and making noise just for the sake of it. Julian watched him patiently from the top of the stairs. Noel finally trekked his way up, stopping only a step down from where Julian stood. He slipped his index fingers through Julian’s belt loops and glanced up at the piece of mistletoe dangling from the ceiling. Noel had hung it there only a couple of weeks ago. The stairs had been the place to stop since then. Julian couldn’t get past them undetected; it was possible that Noel had put some kind of laser security in place as he always seemed to know when Julian passed that spot.

“Does that count as sixteen?”

“I suppose it can. Well, maybe not. It’s not very public, is it? Only the public ones are supposed to count.”

Noel rolled his eyes. “We don’t have to save them up any more, Ju. It’ll just be all part of the act. Nobody cares now. It’s comedy, it worked.”

Julian let out a frustrated growl, grabbing at Noel’s hands and attempting to wrestle his fingers away. Noel bared his teeth in response, though Julian could see a moment of surprise, of shock, flash past his eyes. Finally the fingers were freed; Julian thought he won, but perhaps Noel had just given up. Then the storm rolled in, unexpected. Noel pushed past him and blazed into the lounge, throwing his hands in the air and whirling around with a clap of thunder.

“ _What_ is it?”

“It’s not – it didn’t work, Noel. It’s worse.”

“What d’you mean?”

“We thought it would be hilarious. It’s not hilarious, it’s a nightmare. ‘Snog him!', they shout out at us. So we just do it?”

“Half of them thought it already!”

“I doubt that. Some, yes – _half_? Reality, Noel, I know you’re not a fan–“

“Yes, we do.”

“We do what?”

“We just snog. Fuck it, we just do it. They’ve seen it once.”

Julian wiped a hand over his face. He was tired; this was not helping. Noel had lowered his voice somewhat but still stood in attack stance – legs far apart, hands on hips (except when he wanted to wave one around for emphasis). He seemed to be waiting for Julian to make the next move, put the next chess piece down.

“It’s not that easy. There’s the girls–“

“Fuck it, Julian, I’m not saying we do anything stupid. We keep it all up, all of it, but we just do some – fuck, I don’t know. Publicity. Watch the Boosh. This is what happens on the Boosh. It’s hilarious. Want to see it again?”

“But – the jibes. I don’t know. I couldn’t count on two hands how many times I’ve been called a gayist in the past few days – last one was when I was doing my shopping this morning. It wasn’t even another customer, it was the clerk. I just wanted my weetabix.”

A remote control came flying past Julian’s head. It was close; he’d heard the whoosh of the air. It smashed somewhere behind him but he didn’t dare turn his back on the verbal attack that would surely be coming for whatever reason.

“The past few days, Ju? The past few fucking days? Get used to it.”

“Oh, fuck off. That’s no argument for you. ‘Ooh, I get it all the time, all my life, lovey Noel.’ It’s no different for you now than it ever has been. Sympathy for the devil.”

Noel moved forwards. Julian resisted the urge to move backwards in response. He didn’t seem all that menacing now, though – the stance was different, he wasn’t quite scowling, either. Julian clasped his hands together and then stretched them out, cracking his knuckles. Noel was still coming. He was stretching a hand out. The hand was closing over Julian’s linked hands. He was confused, but then again, this was Noel. The younger man rested his other hand against the small of Julian’s back, tucking himself in beside him. His voice was soft, his breath tickled Julian’s ear.

“Julian. Okay, forget it. Shut up. Shut up, we don’t have to. It was just an idea.”

“Don’t touch me.”

“Don’t fucking make me laugh, this is serious.”

“Noel Fielding plays the serious card.”

“I’ll do whatever I like.” Julian tensed up without thinking. Noel must have felt it. “With my own business. I’ll do what I please in my own time, on my own time – Christ, Ju, don’t ever think I’ll fuck it over without a really good reason.”

“Sometimes you make me nervous.”

“Sometimes I make you laugh, though, so it evens out. Hey, come over here.” Noel took a step back from Julian again but kept his hand tucked over Julian’s hands, tugging him gently back over towards the top of the stairs. Julian followed willingly enough, though he wasn’t sure if he was walking into a trap. Noel could full well decide to push him down the stairs or something. Nothing was impossible when Noel was involved. That thought was occasionally terrifying.

“What are we doing, Noel?”

“We’re catching up on today’s count. Fourteen. Was it fourteen?”

“Don’t sell it short, it was fifteen.”

“Yeah, I know, I was just checking to make sure you were invested enough.”

Julian freed one of his hands from Noel’s grasp, keeping the other twisting through his fingers. He brought his free hand up to rest against Noel’s neck and leaned in, brushing their lips together lightly. Noel snorted out a laugh and ran his slobbery tongue along Julian’s cheek before grabbing his face in both hands and sticking his tongue in Julian’s mouth quite indelicately. The kiss was sweeter than Julian had expected it to be, with that lead in. Noel’s fingers were light against his cheeks; Julian tucked his arm around Noel’s back and pulled him closer, closer still. Noel broke off and dropped his arms to his sides, resting his forehead against Julian’s shoulder.

“Invested enough then, am I?”

“I haven’t decided. There’s fourteen left, yet.” Noel raised his head from Julian's shoulder and shook his head quickly and briefly so that his fringe would fall back into place. He grinned, slipping his arms around Julian's waist. “I love Christmas.”

“Joyeux, Noel.”


End file.
